I’m that annoying person you want to punch in the face. I don’t always make New Year’s Resolutions, but when I do, I always follow through on them. Yup, My New Year’s resolutions always stick. I don’t think I’m doing anything magical, or right, or better… it’s probably just more that I hate being wrong. So, if I say I’m going to do something, I do it.
It’s actually confusing to me when people say they will do something, and don’t. One trait that confuses me completely is unreliability. Some people don’t even know they are unreliable, they just are. Sort of like people who are always late (aka the Spawns of Satan). In my book being early is being on time, be on time is being late, and being late means you’re fired. Yup, welcome to my world. Sure it’s no problem I’ve only been waiting for you for 20 minutes, your time is clearly more valuable than mine, Spawn of Satan. I once told my boss “If I’m late, I’m dead”. He laughed, but that’s an actual fact.
So anywho, back to the New Years Resolution idea. Apart from just enjoying being right as much as possible, there is another, even more compelling, reason to follow through on your New Year’s Resolutions. The best part is that you get to use your follow through on these resolutions as excuses for continuing other shitty and/or unhealthy behaviors. You can refer back to your past, shittier, self as some maniac who is, thank god, no longer with us.
One year I quit smoking, cold-turkey, after 25 years of smoking. (Pats self on back for being amazing). This was the hardest resolution to keep. It’s been 5 years and I won’t be turning back, but it never goes away, unfortunately. Another year I committed to the “Eat To Live” diet for 90 days. I know that 90 days doesn’t sound like a lot, but this way of life is no joke. The basic gist is that it’s a vegan diet (no animal products of any kind) but also no oils and no grains. Yup, if you thought vegans were bananas, imagine a vegan with no oil and no grains. I bow to anyone who actually stays on this diet for life. I made it the 90 days but it wasn’t easy. It was worth it. It felt great to just get all of the SAD (Standard American Diet) out of my system and let my cells do their thing without Velveeta or Jager getting in the way. Yup, no booze on Eat to Live either. FTW!
So after you quit smoking after 25 years, or manage to Eat To Live for 90 days, or 2 years ago when I committed to doing cardio exercise an average of 3x a week for life… no one wants to call you out on the rest of your shit. You’re basically in the best position you can be in. Hey guys remember that smoking, non-exercising, sarcastic, functioning alcoholic, anxiety ridden mess? Well she doesn’t smoke anymore and she exercises all the time! Can you imagine going from smoking at least a pack of reds a day for 25 years and never exercising to not smoking at all and exercising all the time. WOW! What great accomplishments bravo!!!!!!… pass the Jager. See? I’m only 1/3 – 1/2 of the shit show I was before, yay me!
For this year’s resolution I’ve decided to work on my diet permanently. I find myself so focused on calories that I neglect nutrition. How soon we forget Eat To Live! Over the past 2 years (now that I’m all exercising and whatnot) I’ve gotten in tune with calories. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, we should understand that a block of tofu might have more calories than a piece of cheese. That said, a focus just on calories is not good. That’s been me for about 2 years. I’m over it. When you’re a 45 year old woman, 500 calories takes twice, or three times, as long to burn off than it used to. I was eating the same amount as before, plus exercising! But at 45, it was still adding up to extra weight. Not a ton, but it takes your brain a while to accept that change.
My 2 favorite Christmas Gifts #RealFoodTimeYall
So two years later I’ve accepted that change. I usually exercise more than 3x a week, but working a lot makes that more difficult. So, it’s even more important that I eat REAL food. A can of soup is about 189 calories and real-food soup is about 350. But the real soup gives you healthy skin, good eye sight, a healthy heart, lowers your blood pressure, extends your life, and so on. I’m mature enough at this point to know that health is something we can’t take for granted.
This is what soup should look like #MyNewJam
So, this year my New Year’s Resolution is to eat real food as much as possible. My plan is to make the best choices possible, and when you eat as much real food as you can (factoring in time/resource restrictions), you can also let yourself have cheese fries or a filet-o-fish when you feel like it, because other than that your body is getting useful food, not SAD food. Part of the resolution is also to try at least one new recipe a month and to never have a lean cuisine or can of soup in my pantry (for me). I’d say wish me luck.. but I don’t need it. #WinningIn2018 #Reliable #FollowThroughLikeABoss