2 blog posts in one week?! It’s Christmas in August! Actually, my youngest daughter is away at 4H overnight camp. Let’s just say that there are very few things that create any emotion in the brain of Marie Christine, but Gigi is one of them. If I don’t stay completely occupied I drift off into thoughts of her lying in her cabin bed at night, cold, terrified and crying out for us. So, “lucky” you get a double blog week as I try to stay occupied. Hooray!
Let’s talk about the fact that anything we say or do today is pretty much a permanent record. Thanks to the internet, screen shots, texts, emails, Facebook, you name it. The internet always remembers. Your ex-girlfriend always remembers (ha). I can’t even imagine some of the things that I said when I was younger…. Heck even last week. I do know two things. 1. I thank god every day that there was no internet when I was in my 20’s. Thank you kind and merciful Jesus. 2. I’m deliberate about what I put out there now… mostly… except when I drink and blog when my daughter is crying in a dark theoretical cabin.
If you are easily offended (are the cool kids calling that a “snowflake” now? I’m confused…) you should stop reading here. Real talk… engage.
Tomi Lahren, TV personality and…? Not sure what else. You all know I don’t like radicals. Left radicals, right radicals… I don’t like you. Radicals start wars, not productive revolutions like they think they do. Their egos are their driving forces, which is the opposite of revolutionaries, k? Since Tomi’s so young I actually feel sorry for her. Her legacy is going to be embarrassing, at best, and isolating at least. As a mother I want to have a side bar like hun, we need to talk, this is the ghost of Christmas future and future you has some bad habits and some pretty major hair loss issues so…
After Jesse Williams’ speech at the BET awards she said:
“If the [black] victim ended up being unarmed, it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.” Tomi Lahren
So… any black person who doesn’t have a gun has either tried, or thought about trying, to obtain one? Oh hellllllllllllll no. Tomi, a shit-ton of women out there are pretty, you need to come up with something else… tick tock goes your clock. Permanent Record.
When asked about Climate Change:
“I talk to a lot of Democrats about that. They’re like, ‘But it’s freezing, and then it’s hot!’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah it’s called weather. That’s what happens.” Tomi Lahren
I feel sorry for her that in Douche-Town USA wherever she went to high school they didn’t teach them the difference between climate and weather, and that maybe her mother (guessing here) gets all of her news updates from her Sorority Newsletter. Second, you aren’t talking to a lot of democrats, and if you did none of them said that. That was from a dream you had where people thought you were smart. You’re awake now hun. Science 1, Tomi 0 on the Permanent Record.
JK Rowling Slays Twitter. Follow her if you want to see magic comebacks.
Tomi takes on the real issues…
Real Talk: Melania Trump… just kidding. That poor woman has been through enough. Although Melania, if you’re reading this the scowl at the inauguration speech and the deplane hand-slap will live on forever. I hope your husband doesn’t have you deported when you leave him, but you might want to start planning just in case. Deplane hand slap: Permanent Record… thank you.
Hillary Clinton: Oh Hillary… I believe HC is brilliant. I hope she continues to have a role in politics. She has devoted her life to public service. I think a lot of politicians forget that they are public servants. But public service goes out the mother fricken window when you’re a woman scorned. Regarding her husband’s infidelity…
“Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobody’s going to believe them.” Hillary Clinton
The old “she’s trash” argument is about as anti-feminist as you can get. Get your shit together on this one HC. Remember the other women were also women scorned, and your response is on permanent record. Judge not lest ye be judged. Also just NO.
For Paul Ryan I’m not going to use a quote to express the permanency of the internet. Rather a couple of photos. Remember these marketing photos from his run for VP with Mitt Romney? I do. They are still priceless. He will have them to treasure when he retires and moves back to Fraggle Rock.
File this under: Things you can’t un-see
Jeff Sessions. Tough to pick a favorite here. When asked about the KKK in the 1980’s he said:
The KKK “…were OK until I found out they smoked pot.” Jeff Sessions
“Good people don’t smoke marijuana.” Jeff Sessions
Ok so I don’t smoke pot (although I have in the past a few times). Which is too bad since it’s legal to smoke, grow and sell where I live. I’m more of a booze person, as previously heavily referenced. That said, he may not regret this statement but it’s just stupid. I also love it that pot is what turned him off from the KKK. He could let go the lynching, but at pot… the line was DRAWN. Permanent Record Kermit.
Let’s not leave out our celebrity friends (simmer down y’all I’ll get to Trump in a minute I swear… stay seated and do not panic). Here are some fun ones:
“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet”. David Beckham
When asked which newspapers she reads “Most of em, All of ‘em, and any of ‘em that have been in front of me over all these years.” Sarah Palin
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” Brooke Shields
“Stretchmarks are my biggest fear of life”. Kim Kardashian
Now for our finale if you will. Imagine if presidential succession was a fireworks display, we would be so AMPED with this finale! I’m assuming the world ends during this presidency, hence the finale. Let us begin:
Photos from November 2020 during the election.
“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body” Donald Trump
If you haven’t read the back story on this, you must. About 30 years ago, the co-editor of Spy Magazine, Graydon Carter, called Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian”. As per usual, Donald is unable to get past it (a key leadership quality). For years Carter states that he still gets envelopes from Trump with photos of him, circling his hands in comparison to others as proof that this insult is not true. This story is fascinating. The quote above is both confusing and entertaining. PERMANENT RECORD, thankfully for us.
Trump believes exercise is bad for people. I can’t even… so feel free to read one of the many articles on it: Click Here to see the worst excuse anyone has ever given to avoid exercise
“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” Donald Trump
Oh yes, give me some of that Spanx restricted big belly. They were ALL into you, and everyone knows it.
“My IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.” Donald Trump
“Despite the constant negative press covfefe” Donald Trump
“Eventually we’re going to get something done and it’s going to be really, really good.” Donald Trump
Award for best Fox News Alert statement ever?
“Look at my African American over here!” Donald Trump at a campaign rally June 3, 2016.
“There has to be some form of punishment…” Donald Trump on women who have abortions.
Finally, an attack on the Pope… is anyone out of scope?
“For a religious leader to question a person’s faith is disgraceful. I am proud to be a Christian. If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which everyone knows is ISIS’ ultimate trophy, I can promise you at the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been the President because this would not have happened.” Donald Trump in response to this quote from Pope Francis: “a person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian”.
Soooo much to say here. First, Donald is saying that the Pope is wrong about interpreting who/what defines Christianity. I’m not super knowledgeable here but isn’t that the Pope’s primary gig? Like for the entire planet? Second, don’t you love people who refer to themselves in the third person? I know I do. Hey Not-Tom-Brady, Marie Christine would like grilled cheese for dinner tonight, ok?
I’ve also found out, according to about 10 minutes of research, that the following people/groups are Losers. I can only imagine how enlightened I would be if I kept looking! Please read so that you won’t accidently relate to, or worse yet become, a loser, especially one on permanent record…
Erick Erickson, Rosie O’Donnell, Sheen Monnin, People without egos, George Will, Online magazine “Salon”, Tim O’Brien, Roger Stone, Richard Belzer, Michael Forbes, Glenfiddish Scotch, Karl Rove, Lord Sugar, Gradydon Carter, Bill Maher, Angelo Carusone, Mark Cuban, Ana Navarro, Michelle Malkin, Danny Zuker, Elderly women who sue him, People who tweet he wears wigs, Alex Salmond, Seth Meyers, Paul Goldberger, Frank Luntz, Russell Brand, Jonah Goldberg, Charles Krauthammer, John McCain and Chuck Todd are all Losers.
What’s the saddest thing about the fact that we are spiraling into a pre-apocalyptic nightmare? Consensus is that this all happened because of One. Single. Dinner. As evidenced here: For once it’s actually true THANKS OBAMA!
Click Here for New Yorker Article
Click Here for Video