Jesus was a Republican

I don’t follow any extremist websites of any kind because I don’t drink Kool-Aid unless I mix it myself.

Jesus Kool Aid

I wouldn’t call myself a devoted religious person. I attended church when I was very little for a brief time. It was the Episcopal Church. I remember it as welcoming, friendly and open minded. In Sunday school we discussed general principles like The Golden Rule and, what we would refer to today as, Global Citizenship. I also remember them giving us lilacs on Easter Sunday which I thought was pretty amazing. Someone would just GIVE me a flower! For free! To this day I plant lilacs outside of my window wherever I live. I never thought about why until this very minute, but there seems to be a connection there.

Jesus Episcopalians

I find religion fascinating for many reasons. I’ve mentioned before that I recently started teaching an Arabic Business Strategy class and have learned a great deal about Islam and the Muslim philosophies in that endeavor. It’s truly intriguing. I’m equally fascinated by Catholicism and all other world religions. I’m interested in how/when they formed. What their basic principles are. How their members view the religion. How outsiders view the religion. How religion brings peace as often as it brings conflict. That last part is the most compelling to me. The more I learn about world religions, the more I want to know.

I also find “Faith” in general to be one of the most interesting things about religion. I don’t have faith in anything. That’s not an attempt to be shocking; it’s just the reality of how I live my life. I do believe that everything happens for a reason (even though it’s REALLY annoying when something bad happens to you and someone says that). I do believe there is more to existence than what we see, physically, in front of us. But, if I see someone with a “faith” tattoo, it’s a good general clue that we will likely never drink bourbon and watch Netflix together. Unrelated: I also really like Faith Hill’s music, but I don’t think that counts.

Jesus Faith MLK

What fascinates me is the blind “faith” of devout religious people. Over the years I’ve found MANY people who will tell me that they have complete faith in Jesus, or whoever their god is. That they trust in “his” judgment and direction. These people seem much happier than I ever will be, to be honest. If I’m being really honest, I’m generally not what I’d call a happy person. I think temporary bouts of contentment are probably my best case scenario. Hence, my interest in those with “faith” because this seems to make them very happy.

That said, in 100% of the times I’ve asked, those same faithful people have always disagreed with at least one portion of their Bible or their Koran etc. I find it hard to understand how you can have blind faith in “the word” and then have well BUT not ABC because XYZ.

The XYZ is many things. Well, I don’t believe in stoning children when they speak out of turn because that portion was written in a different time. A different time? Don’t the rules of god apply at all times? If not, how do we know when to let stoning children drop off the list? How do we know it’s cool to use birth control now without going to hell? Was there a memo? In my experience the general response is that “the church” has decided…

Jesus Cool Story Bro

I’ve asked these questions of Pastors and Rabbis and students. As always, there is no definite answer. Cafeteria Catholics seem to be a symptom of our evolution. I’ll get in line for Jesus. I’ll slide my tray down the line and grab The Golden Rule with a side of Not Laying with my Neighbors Wife, but I’ll leave the stoning children and no birth control on the shelf. Jesus won’t mind because XYZ. Talked to my minister and he’s all… it’s cool it’s just birth control, but don’t be gay because that one is still hell-worthy. I’ll let you know if it gets dropped off the list.

Jesus cafeteria

Jesus H. Christ, what was my point?! (I obviously left blasphemy on the shelf today too… my bad). I can’t find anything in 27 years of religious philosophical conversation and research that indicates that Jesus was a Republican. The Republican claim on Christianity is entirely confusing. There is this sense in the current political climate that the GOP upholds Christian values, with an undertone that the Dems are trying to destroy it.  Huh?

So for the sake of argument, let’s say that Jesus doesn’t mind now if you don’t stone your kids or if you let your wife speak before she’s spoken too… he’s all good with that now because XYZ. Let’s say he cares about the big stuff like abortion, divorce, sex before marriage, using birth control and being gay.

I would argue that Republicans get divorced, have sex before marriage and use birth control. In theory I suppose they are less likely to have an abortion, and perhaps are more likely to oppose gay rights/gay marriage. Republicans also seem more likely to oppose immigration from Middle Eastern countries and to oppose Islam/Muslim religion.

Here are a few Jesus GOP related spoilers for you:

  • Jesus was not Republican
  • Jesus was Middle Eastern. Yup, not only was Jesus brown, but if he were alive today he would be under the U.S. travel ban. Just a reminder, the people that the GOP doesn’t want in the country are the same nationality as Jesus, who is the person that you say you will follow faithfully. (Hint: You aren’t following Jesus and you’re not hiding it well)
  • Jesus was a Jew. Wait… what? Now that’s a head scratcher.
  • One of Jesus’s main jams was that the worse a person’s situation, the more important that it is to help that person. Americans love to act as if HOW the person got into a bad situation matters. You know who it doesn’t matter to? You guessed it, your buddy Jesus. Turn away the poor, the sick, those in need and you are telling Jesus… Nope! Sorry dude I’ll follow you in theory but this actual following you is SO HARD! By the way do you know where the cafeteria is?

Jesus Carter

Here’s my point (yes I’m FINALLY getting to what might be a coherent point…) Republicans do not hold the Christianity Card. If the basic premise of the Christian religion is to sacrifice for those in need… I would argue that Christianity is a bipartisan concept.

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The opposite of Jesus’s message, is Nationalism. I repeat, the opposite of Jesus’s message… is Nationalism.

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Jesus Nationalism